Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Legend of Shucka: Chapter One

An artists rendition of what Shucka Shucka may have look like.
Note by the Author 
Hello everyone! So I’ve been thinking about what I should do with this blog attempt and me and my buddies have agreed it should more simple than whatever the fuck we were talking about in our first article. Its gonna be 50% funny (or what we think funny is) and 50% actual stuff and in the future its not gonna be so split but for today it is. Be warned, this story is not politically correct, or morally clean, but anywho I hope you enjoy my story

Chapter One: In The Beginning There Was One
            There I was, a normal school day, except for the fact my friend was currently summoning an ancient creature, known in some cultures as Shucka Shucka. Although I didn’t know this at the time, Shucka Shucka was far more evil than I could have ever have imagined. But let me back up a little, I guess this all began in 1756.
            He is called many things Lucifer, Sugar Daddy, "The Green Popsicle", and of course, Shucka Shucka. Although exactly what he was was never figured out, he was one hell-of-a bad ass. He was known for stumbling around an area in Africa the locals called *click* *click*,or however Africans talk, every 50 years or so. Whenever he would come across a village he would do three things. The first thing he would do was systematically eat an ear off one village baby, not any other part of the body, just the ear. The second thing he would do is spit in everyone’s oatmeal, yes, they had oatmeal in ancient Africa. He would then impregnate one virgin in the village for the final step. Then he left without a trace and by morning everything was set. When the villagers woke the only mark Shucka Shucka left was the one eared baby.

How does this fits in with the first sentence? How did my friend summon Shucka Shucka? You'll just have to wait for Chapter Two.

- hgani

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